Potty Training

By Alison Mackonochie
Learning to become clean and dry is an important step in your child’s journey towards independence - but he’ll need lots of help from you along the way.

There are many possible ways to potty train your child, and it can often seem that everyone you speak to has a different opinion about the best way to go about it. Like other aspects of baby care there are fads that become popular with one generation of parents only to be discounted by the next. One thing is certain, whether you start sitting your baby on a potty at a few months old or wait until your child is able to understand and communicate his needs, the end result will be the same – however you choose to get there!

Choosing the right time to start

The age at which individual children are ready to leave behind their dirty nappies can vary enormously. In general girls tend to be ready for potty training a little earlier than boys and become dry and clean more quickly. For both boys and girls, however, the age at which a child is ready to begin potty training will depend largely upon the rate of his or her own physical and emotional development. You will probably find that anyone who has ever potty trained a child has advice and opinions to offer you. Grandmothers, for example, are likely to tell you that they started early and achieved success at an age when today’s parents haven’t even begun.

This was probably possible because more mothers were at home and had time to dedicate to potty training. Add to this the fact that babies wore cloth nappies and there were not the same washing and drying facilities available, and you can see why early training was attractive. Today’s attitude to potty training is very different, and becoming clean and dry is seen as the child’s achievement rather than the parent’s. Many experts believe the emphasis should be on potty ‘learning’ – something the child does – rather than potty ‘training’ – something the parent does.

You will know when your child is ready to begin potty training when he:

• Wants to come to the bathroom with you and understands what the toilet is for.

• Knows what it means to have a wet or dirty nappy and perhaps shows a preference for being clean and dry.

• Seems to recognise at least a few seconds ahead that he needs to go.

• Says words that seem to indicate that he wants to pee or poop.

• Stays dry for an hour-and-a-half to two hours at a time.

• Shows a desire for independence by wanting to do things by himself.

• Does not show concern about sitting on the potty or toilet.

• Is over the fascination of learning to walk and run and enjoys sitting still and playing with his toys.

• Is in a willing, receptive mood rather than in a negative phase.

• Shows a desire to wear big kid’s underpants and attempts to pull them up and down without help.

• Has regular bowel movements.

• Can follow simple directions, such as those for washing his hands.Your potty training routine

Now that your child is ready to start potty training, you will need to decide how you are going to go about it. Some parents find that a regular daily routine works best, others believe that taking a more casual approach is less stressful for both parent and child.

Your child’s first introduction to serious potty training needs to be carried out during a period when you can give her lots of extra attention. Even if you only have a weekend to spare, this should be long enough to get her to understand the principles of what you want her to do – provided she has your undivided attention.

Start by sitting your child on the potty once or twice a day. Traditional advice suggests that after breakfast is the best time, but be flexible – if your child usually has a bowel movement at suppertime there is little point in making her sit on the potty first thing in the morning. While she is sitting, give her a biscuit, read to her or let her play with a special toy that she only has when she uses the potty.

Don’t make her stay for longer than five or ten minutes and never try to restrain her. Let her get up if she wants to, and don’t scold her for not sitting for the appropriate length of time. You don’t want your child to associate this time with stressful or negative feelings.

The most effective way to reward your child is with plenty of praise and loving attention. But you may find that offering your child a more tangible reward - such as a sweet or a biscuit – can also have some success.

Accepting setbacks

Even if your child happily settles into a daily routine, be prepared for her to suddenly go off the idea. It may be that her bowel habits have changed, she may simply have become bored with the whole thing or she may see refusal to go as a means of getting your attention. In any case, you need to be careful not to make an issue of it, even though you may feel frustrated and annoyed. The best course of action is to drop the routine for a day or two, or even longer if your child remains resistant. It is important not to turn potty training into a battle of wills between you and your child or to create an aversion to the routine that you are trying to impose.Alison Mackonochie is a well respected author and mother of three children. She is a member of the Medical Journalists’ Association and the Guild of Health Writers.

To order a copy of her book, Pee Poop & Potty Training (£6.99) with free p&p, call the publisher direct on: 020 7372 0900, mentioning Flying Start.