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My advice! By Steven O'Hara
To set the scene I am 31 years old, my wife is the same although looks a little younger it appears as she continues to get asked for ID when we go out, my two little ones Mia is aged 5 1/2 and Eryn aged 1 1/2 and we all live in sunny Birmingham!
 When I decided to make an entry into the dad’s column, I thought about what wisdom, experience and insight into fatherhood I could give to make an interesting and hopefully enjoyable column.In the end I just thought I should make known my opinion and experiences as a father.
So to my column, or more like a few hints:
Dummies – when they are very small and especially for new parents, it all comes as a bit of a shock to the system with the early mornings, broken sleep, temperamental wife, etc – so you look for any respite - the Dummy, an amazing piece of engineering that keeps the little mites quiet for long enough to keep the missus in one piece. However it does come with a cost, at some point around 3 – 4 years of age you try and get them to remove their little rubber/plastic pal from their lives, so good luck with that.
Blankets – Both my little ones have a blanket, although extremely cute and again offer a sedative quality; they do come with their problems.Firstly they are dragged along the floor for most of their lives and get very smelly and dirty, this then leads to them being washed which gives you a child who stands by the washing machine, crying their hearts out as they see their little friend being pummelled in the big metal contraption.The problem is that when it comes out it also needs drying, which ends in the little blanket being dragged around half wet for a few hours.I have found that they are lost almost daily which in itself causes mass panic and screaming children, it is always found but God help us if it ever does go.Try and steer clear of a blanket if possible.
Changing Nappies – I must say that my Wife has done a fantastic job of keeping my involvement down to a minimum – not my favourite pastime, I must say.The sooner Eryn can do it herself the better, basically it is probably one of the most unpleasant things to do, apart from the initial smell and cleaning, they very often get annoyed and decide to jump around which results in an extra bit of cleaning.Once the cleaning is done and new nappy is on with the dirty nappy in the bin, you then smell something and realise that that hadn’t quite finished and the job is required again.Tips are to either, leave this to the missus or wear gloves.
Night Times – Once you have finally got the little beggars to sleep, the skill is keeping it that way – it appears they gain a superhero type ability to hear a door close from a mile away and feel the shuddering vibration of the fridge being closed.When they eventually do wake, usually an hour into your sleep, the trick is getting them back to the land of nod quickly, quietly and without conversation – because a single word uttered can have them thinking it is the morning.My advice would be to go to bed when they do and at least you are all in the same boat, alternatively wake them up now and again, just for revenge purposes.
Going Shopping – Again the good wife often covers my back here and deals with all retail transactions, however when I do get dragged into the pit of despair that is shopping, here are my experiences:Eryn wants everything in the trolley and will scream occasionally until we have opened the multi pack of crisps to keep her quiet.Mia likes to put everything into the trolley, unfortunately she cant quite reach the bottom of the trolley, so everything gets thrown in and ultimately broken, but this is a job she must do, and can become violent if removed from duties so we live with the broken biscuits.Probably the worst thing is the tantrums, occasionally when shopping, one decides to make a stand, probably over something insignificant – but this then ensures that all passing shoppers can view our wonderful parenting skills as we beg, shout and even bribe our way out of the situation.
I hope some of this helps and just remember they are yours, hopefully.
Steve
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