Older Mums

 

From Madonna to Courtney Cox they’re all at it; getting pregnant after the age of 35 that is. Statistics show that in the UK alone there are now more first-time mothers in the 30-34 age group than in the 25-29 age group. But why is it that more women nowadays are waiting until later on to have children and what are the implications of this?

Careers, travel and relationships are all factors that have led to the increase of later childbearing. More and more women are now putting off having a family until they have established their careers and become settled in a relationship. A higher number of women are settling down at a later stage because they have concentrated on their careers for a number of years before finding the right man to have children with. Society has seen the tables turn with many men becoming househusbands while the women go out to work and play the role of bread winner.

This independent attitude and freedom has meant that women don’t feel as pressurised as they once did to have children before a certain age. Women are now better educated, have better career prospects and are earning more than in the past. They also want the same opportunities and freedom as men, such as being able to earn good salaries and enjoying the freedom to travel.

Statistics from the Office of Health Economics (OHE) show that in every age group under 30 the birth rate is falling, but in every age group over 30 it is rising. The fastest rise has been in women over 45 giving birth, with a 50 per cent increase from 2000 to 2005. Doctors, however, warn that modern career women who delay starting a family until into their 30s have an increased chance of suffering health problems, ranging from high blood pressure to diabetes and birth defects.

The age of first motherhood has been rising since the 1970s, with the sharpest increase being in the late 30s and early 40s. But the best time biologically for childbearing is 20-30 years of age. This trend of later motherhood is fuelling a rise in caesareans. Almost one in four births in 2004-05 was by this method and the rate is continuing to rise. The OHE says that the greater demand has been blamed on women who choose the operation so they can plan the birth to fit around with their busy lifestyle.

Case Study 1

Aviva Wilford was 44 when she gave birth to her son Jamie now four-years-old. She says: “Jamie wasn’t planned but my husband and I were thrilled when I found out I was pregnant again.” Aviva also has a 22-year-old daughter, Natasha, and an 18-year-old son called Benjamin who were both fully supportive and excited about the prospect of another addition to the family.

Aviva, now a part-time marketing consultant, made the decision to leave her full-time position when she discovered she was expecting. She was fortunate not to experience any difficulty during any of her three pregnancies, apart from slight bleeding at the beginning with her youngest Jamie. Aviva says: “The medical support offered to me throughout my last pregnancy was great. All the risks were explained to me thoroughly and had I every test going being an older mum.”

Having a four-year-old son may mean that Aviva is not able to stay out on social nights as late as her friends whose children are older, but she wouldn’t change a thing. In fact, Aviva is enjoying being an older mum so much that her and her husband tried for a fourth baby. She says: “We thought it would be nice for Jamie to have a playmate but unfortunately we weren’t successful and I’m too old now for any more.”

Aviva says she enjoyed her last pregnancy the most because she felt a lot more relaxed and knowledgeable about everything. She would also highly recommend having a child later on in life to anyone. She says: “My only advice to any older mums-to-be would be to get as much sleep as possible before the new arrival.”

Case Study 2

Honor Marks, the founder of www.lifelaundress.com, from Kent gave birth to her daughter Holly, who is now five-years-old, when she was 37. Honor made the decision to have her first child at this age simply because she hadn’t met the right man before then.

She didn’t experience any physical difficulties during her pregnancy, but she was in denial that she was pregnant for a long time. She says: “The medical support I received throughout my pregnancy was fabulous - great doctor and midwives, although one was a bit lacking in bedside manner, but she was the one that was who noticed my baby was distressed and got me through an emergency caesarean so I loved her in the end!”

Honor says she finds motherhood rewarding: “I make mistakes but I do my research and I learn and I won't know for a number of years if I have been doing it right.” She would also recommend later childbearing. She says: “Why not? It is becoming more and more common. We have had careers, traveled and had a ball, so by the time you get to my age you are ready for a new challenge, generally settled with the right man and at peace with yourself. I do worry about what Holly will think of her 50-something mum when she is a teenager though.”

Honor advises older mums not to fret about their age. She says: “If your body allows you to have a baby then fantastic - what's the big deal? Most of my friends of my age group have children similar age - this is the norm for me. We have enjoyed our youth being selfish so we can be ready to be selfless, well a bit!” She thinks the reason for the increasing trend of older mothers is down to women and their careers. She says: “In my case, and I expect many others, it’s because we didn't meet the right man before then. With opportunities to travel and to have a career, and being able to make decisions with lack of pressure from peers and without stigma, there is a whole gamut of reasons.”

The mother of one would love to have more children: “At first I just wanted to enjoy Holly and watch her develop. I watched my friends have two kids quite close together and struggle with two babies in nappies. I also thought they were often in a hurry for the first one to grow up. Meanwhile I was also nurturing my then young business. Now I wish I had just got on with it. I would love Holly to have a sibling and I guess I just have to see if the body is willing - oh and have sex more often!”

Just a few older celebrity mums and the ages they gave birth
Madonna – 41
Courtney Cox - 39
Jane Seymour - 44
Cherie Booth – 45
Emma Thompson – 40
Susan Sarandon – 46
Jerry Hall – 41
JK Rowling – 37 & 39
Brooke Shields – 37 & 40
Caroline Quentin – 43
Sarah Lancashire – 38
Mariella Frostrup – 41
Geena Davis – 48
Julianne Moore – 41
Helen Hunt - 40

Statistics taken from www.mothers35plus.co.uk